Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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