Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The air was thick with penises
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
