Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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