I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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