sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
