I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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