Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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