Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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