Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
