office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
