i think my mom watched the whole time
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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