yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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