Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
