Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
