I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
