Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
