I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize