Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
