We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm too high and old for this...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i out mim tonsoeep
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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