is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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