just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
