is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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