i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
