It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
