Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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