Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
