i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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