But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
