I wish I could teleport
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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