I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
