WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
