Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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