I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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