I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
