3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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