Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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