i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize