Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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