he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You took a bar mat shot.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize