Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
