I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
