If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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