What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
