He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
