we have pet lesbian snakes
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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