and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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