I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
