Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
