why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
