butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
