I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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