Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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