I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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