I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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