and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
