I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize