does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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