Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
