i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
