I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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