Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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