me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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